THE BIBLE BOOK RABBIS SAID SHOULD NOT BE READ BY ANYONE UNDER 30…
AND NOT AT ALL BY WOMEN
Book of Ezekiel 16 and 23
WARNING: Weaponized horse semen, back-dated prophecies, F bombs, donkey-sized penises, child sacrifice and mutilation.
CONTEXT: ~ 593 – 571 BCE: Ezekiel was a troubled prophet of the Hebrew Babylonian exile during the 6th century BCE.
From mythical creatures to sketchy miracles, there is no shortage of bizarre imagery in the Bible: no shying away from graphic violence and no dearth of explicit sex from adulterous to incestuous. But in the Book of Ezekiel we hit the trifecta, a sordid combo platter featuring all of those lurid components. Is this another biblical guidepost to understanding our spiritual relationship with YHWH, and if so, how does that work in day to day practice?
The two chapters featured in this Fun Bible Stories entry present scenes of explicit sexual debauchery and misogynistic sadism unequaled in Hebrew-Christian scriptures.1 While the explicitly erotic Song of Solomon offers up a range of delectable soft porn, the vicious perversions of Ezekiel’s fraught imagination edge into far darker territory.
As one of the Hebrew Bible’s more colorful prophets, Ezekiel’s scriptural legacy is based on a historical character. However, the final text has been extensively edited and embellished by other writers. Right from the beginning of the Book of Ezekiel, there is no shortage of hallucinogenic visions. While some find allegorical or spiritual meaning in these tropes, others are pretty sure the dude was simply tripping on desert mushrooms.
The Z man has his first vision at the age of thirty: a visitation of four four-winged creatures with human, lion, ox and eagle faces (for whatever reason) carrying the throne of a radiant being, who is on fire. These creatures are equipped with wheels within wheels; the wheels are adorned with eyes. Some theologians have retro projected this image to correspond to Book of Revelation images predicting the end of days and the opening ceremonies of the Kingdom of God. Until the End of Days arrives to validate those analyses, we are content with the “dude was high” interpretation.
There are other entries that are less apocalyptic but more bizarre and ridiculous. For example, in the next chapter, YHWH makes the prophet eat a scroll.
“And he said to me, ‘Son of man, eat whatever you find here. Eat this scroll, and go, speak to the house of Israel.’ So I opened my mouth, and he gave me this scroll to eat. And he said to me, ‘Son of man, feed your belly with this scroll that I give you and fill your stomach with it.’ Then I ate it, and it was in my mouth as sweet as honey.” – Ezekiel 3:1-3 [ESV]
Ezekiel also lists any number of other commands from YHWH, including:
- Draw a picture of Jerusalem on a brick and pretend to lay siege to it.
- Lie on your left side for 390 days because of the sins or Israel
- Lie on your right side another forty days (Godq ties him down so he can’t move but gives him one sixth gallon of water for each day);
- Bake your bread over a fire of human excrement (the Lord relents when Ezekiel complains and allows him use cow dung instead).
Along these same lines, the creator promises that fathers will eat their sons and sons will eat their fathers (logistical challenges notwithstanding). God continues on with similar dire threats for several chapters, repeating many of the horrific events. Later, he causes a fiery spirit to carry Ezekiel around by his hair. In case you have failed to pick up on it, the prevailing point here is that Israel has seriously screwed up. Yet consistent with YHWH’s peculiar fairness doctrine, Ezekiel himself will become personally responsible for the crimes of Israel if he fails to warn them of their crimes.
Many of the iconic mythological vignettes in Ezekiel are familiar to both believers and non-believers in the Judeo/Christian culture. You can get those in Sunday School. In this Fun Bible Stories entry, however, we are going to zero in on the two chapters that feature harrowing and detailed descriptions of perverse and violent sexual practices..
While this material is particularly graphic, it is similar to many other passages found throughout the Hebrew Bible equating the relationship between Judea/Israel and YHWH to a marital contract.3 The metaphors are not subtle: Jerusalem is the unfaithful, whoring wife and foreign nations and gods are the well endowed lovers who lead her astray from her husband YHWH.4 Israel’s unfaithfulness is a betrayal of the one sided contract with YHWH.
However, the wrathful God of the Old Testament is not the kind of deity to pay for a divorce attorney.
“I will direct my burning anger against you so that they will deal with you in anger. They will cut off your nose and ears and kill everyone who remains. They will take your sons and your daughters and burn down whatever is left.” – Ezekiel 23: 25 [NOB]
In Ezekiel 16, the prophet opens with a uncharacteristically accurate description of Israel’s true ethnicity as Amorites and Hittites.5 He then describes how God saved them after being tossed out into the field covered in natal blood.
“None eye pitied thee, to do any of these unto thee, to have compassion upon thee; but thou wast cast out in the open field, to the lothing of thy person, in the day that thou wast born. And when I passed by thee, and saw thee polluted in thine own blood, I said unto thee when thou wast in thy blood, Live.” – Ezekiel 16: 5-6 [KJV]
YHWH provided all kinds of good stuff for “Jerusalem,” including gold, silver, jewelry, meat, oil, honey, great fashion and good looks. Even the heathen admired and envied their comeliness. But what did the people do in return? They were unfaithful in a big way and that is just the beginning. They sacrificed their children on the altars of other gods. They whored it up with Egyptians, Assyrians and Philistines. Perhaps worst in the eyes of the Lord is that the people of God are not even paid prostitutes. He seems especially offended that they give it away and pursue lovers rather than being pursued.
Ezekiel 16 and 23 bear witness to graphic scenes of debauchery and sexual violence against women as metaphors for YHWH’s disappointment in Judea and Samaria. While the common translations are harrowing enough, it should be noted that most editions have toned down the most radically offensive language.
What has come down to us is terminology typical of the patriarchal attitudes of the Bible in general, but might more accurately be labeled misogynist. God is portrayed as enthusiastically humiliating his unfaithful wife (Israel) in a series of vignettes that might be characterized as revenge porn.
The traditional explanation for restricting Ezekiel to male readers was that women were too delicate to hear God using the F word (chapter 16, though you won’t find it in English translations), and too fragile to hear about slut-girl Jerusalem bedding down with foreign males whose genitals were as enormous as donkeys.”
“…and lusted after her lovers there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses.” – Ezekiel 23:20 [ESV]
“She lusted after their male consorts, whose sexual organs were like those of donkeys, and whose ejaculation was like that of horses.” [CEB]
One of the tropes that underlies a huge number of Old Testament stories is the general superiority of Hebrews/Israelites.
“…and lusted after her lovers there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose issue was like that of horses.”
– Ezekiel 23:20 [English Standard Version]
NOTES:
- The Book of Ezekiel is so harrowing that some of the great rabbis taught it should not be read by any Torah student under the age of thirty and forbade women from reading it at all.
- God addresses Ezekiel with the curious and ambiguous term “Son of Man.” While “Son of Man” later became a Messianic title in other biblical contexts, such as the book of Daniel and the New Testament, its use in Ezekiel is primarily a reference to the prophet’s human identity.
- This trope is echoed and magnified by the Catholic Church in particular, with the male dominated officials and lay members standing in as the bride of Christ. The Messiah was of course, unmarried during his earthly lifetime, most likely due to the demands on his time. The pageantry of young women dressing in white dresses for their confirmation is optically similar to a marriage ceremony.
- Many of the original lurid descriptions were watered down during the translation process, with graphic accounts of intimidating donkey genitalia and other explicit details cleaned up by successive editors. The emphasis on large penis size is fodder for a whole series of psychological analyses, evoking as it does the lurking fear of Black sexual prowess that underpinned Confederate culture.
- Historically, the Amorites were a nomadic people who emerged in western Mesopotamia during the Bronze age. According to Genesis they were descendants of Canaan, Noah’s grandson. The origins of the Hebrews were similar but through a different son of Noah. As explained in more detail in Jesus Lineage, God is obliquely pointing out that their founding forebear was Abraham, a Chalden or Iraqi.
- The Southern Kingdom surrounding Jerusalem and the Northern Kingdom based in Samaria, respectively.
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