WE THREE OR FOUR KINGS OF ORIENT ARE…ASTROLOGERS MOUNTED UPON ARABIAN STEEDS GOING THE WRONG WAY

 

Gospel of Matthew 2 > Gospel of Mark

WARNING: May compromise your childhood Christmas memories

CONTEXT: ~ 6 BC “We Three Kings of the Orient” were not kings, weren’t riding camels, were coming from the wrong direction and we don’t know how many there were.

Since most Christians rely on God’s professional middle management to explain the Bible, many are left to assume that the Four Gospels are a chronological narrative describing Jesus’s life. But no such account exists anywhere in the Bible. Instead, the first four books of the New Testament are comprised of a series of vignettes woven together to create the familiar chain of Christmas events we grew up with. But there is no linear history of Jesus in the Four Gospels or in the New Testament.

If we focus specifically on the Christmas story – the biggest money maker for churches and retailers alike – we have been told a seamless romantic tale that includes evil King Herod¹, a daring flight to Egypt, heavenly choirs of angels, shepherds, additional livestock, and even a little drummer boy.² 

But perhaps the most iconic visual element in the Yuletide saga is the intrepid Three Wise Men, traveling on camels bearing incense and topical pain relievers for the newborn. This account occurs only in the Gospel of Matthew. In 1857, this ancient dromedary convoy was given a boost by the compelling popular hymn “We Three Kings” composed by John Henry Hopkins, Jr.

Fun Bible Stories now takes a closer look at the Magi of the East.

As we have come to know it, the mainstream Nativity Story (or Infancy Narrative) is cobbled together from two separate books of the New Testament: the Gospel of Matthew and the Gospel of Luke.³ The standard Christmas story itself does not appear at all in the other two gospels. 

Drilling down, we further discover that the key Three Wise Men interlude occurs only in the “Matthew” version of the Christmas tale.⁴ 

The King James Version provides the following description of the event:

“In the time of King Herod, after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, wise men from the East came to Jerusalem.” – Gospel of Matthew 2:1. [KJV]

Who were these guys? The term Magi from the original Greek text refers to an astrologer, priest or interpreter of dreams and omens – the origin of the word magician in fact. Professional soothsayers were extensively employed in royal courts throughout the ancient world. Although in this case the language is not specific, historians and other interpreters concur that the intended reference is to Persian Zorastrian priests. There is no reason to believe they are “kings” and the scriptural account doesn’t say they are kings. Furthermore, the thousand mile journey to see an infant is not typical king behavior.

No camels, no names

As Americans know them, the Three Wise Men are always mounted on camels. This motif lends itself to compelling holiday graphics with limitless potential for ornaments, gift wrapping paper, lawn inflatables and other Christmas merch manufactured in far off Buddhist and atheist nations. But these plastic representations are based on fantasy and marketing, not the Good Book.

If this expedition had been an actual historical event, the Magi would not have been mounted on camels. In the ancient Near East those particular beasts saw only limited use as pack animals. On the contrary, the Magi would have been wealthy aristocratic members of a royal court, riding regally astride magnificent Arabian horses as befitted their station. 

How many kings? No one knows.

Furthermore, we don’t know how many Magi the author envisioned because the number is not given anywhere in the Gospel of Mathew or elsewhere. There might only be a couple of magi/kings or even a dozen, like a posse in a Western. 

We also don’t know what to call the kings because they are not named in the New Testament. Extra-biblical tradition has at some point designated the travelers as Melchior, Caspar and Balthazar to flesh out the tale (just as add-on traditions like Mary’s donkey transportation, attendant oxen and lambs have become part of a popular Christmas pantheon). Admittedly, those are credible handles for Magi, but they are not in the Bible.

Following a star the wrong way.

And finally, there is the undeniable geographical problem with the famous Star in the East. These legendary Magi were from Persia or Arabia, a thousand or so miles directly east of Judea. If the star had stationed itself over the stable⁵ it would have been west of the astrologers in Arabia and due south when they left Jerusalem. 

If the magi had been located west of Bethlehem, they would have been swimming to see the baby Messiah in the east, or riding dolphins instead of camels.

 

Much of the Three Wise Men Myth is Not Found Anywhere In The Bible

 

NOTES:

1. Historically, Herod was quite deceased well before the timeline in which this event is set.
2. It is shocking how many people believe the “Little Drummer Boy” – a popular song written in 1941 – is a real event.
3. None of the authors of the “gospels” were members of the twelve disciples men’s club, nor did they live during Joshua ben Joseph’s lifetime. The “wise men” interlude in the Gospel of Matthew was written late in the first century CE. The earliest of the twenty-seven books of the New Testament to be written were the various letters from Paul, which don’t reference the gospels because the gospels had not yet been written.
4. The Gospel of Luke includes no flight to Egypt, no paranoid King Herod, no murder of children and no Wise Men visiting baby Jesus. Instead it includes shepherds, who, in the real world, would not have been outdoors in the middle of winter.
5. There is also no stable mentioned anywhere in biblical Nativity scripture.

 

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